I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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