After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
