i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
