Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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