1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
