It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
