the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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