those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
