Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
