Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
