Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
