Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
