You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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