i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
