And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
