she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Sober January is a disaster.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
