I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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