Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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