hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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