is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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