Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
