I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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