Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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