the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
