i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
