Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize