What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
