so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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