I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
After last night, I could never be a politician.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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