You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
