You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
