So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
