I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
