It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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