An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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