Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
