I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So apparently I’m into choking now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
