she looked like the before picture.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
