You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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