the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
