all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
