So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
