I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it glows. i had to have it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
