I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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