I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
