Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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