He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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