i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
