What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
