remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
