it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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