I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
