I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
