i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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