i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
