The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
