Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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