My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
