If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So squirting runs in the family.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
