ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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