Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
