If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize